I hate your face
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
our new exchange student wants to hear all about America's greatest politician, "Oprah." it's gonna be a long fucking day
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
I woke up at 2 pm to my roommate checking my pulse.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
