Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Do you remember anything yesterday that led to needing a cup of couscous in my closet?
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize