I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
He told me he was cooking me a special dinner tonight. His "five star meal" was popcorn in champagne glasses, and chic fil a sauce in jello shot containers to dip the popcorn in. He still tries to convince me he doesn't smoke weed anymore.
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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