Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Yeah. Fortunately, the road to Hell is paved with naked 21 year old girls.
Which beats the fuck out of good intentions.
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
he just looked at me and whispered "these are my sea lions. my sea lions." and then went back to licking the mirror
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
Well my mom knows that the welt I had on my forehead last month was the result of a sex accident. This holiday sucks
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Randomize
