Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
You can wear anything you want
So... Naked it is then
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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