nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
he paid for dinner at the eiffel tower. drinks at a bar on the champs elysees. gave me a motorcycle ride back to his house, got us heineken and then took me to park overlooking paris. where he ate me out on a park bench. still have doubts about the french?
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just smoked a bowl with the lady who runs the special olympics. Your move.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
