as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
I'm single ladies-ing it in my kitchen alone. after I just made an intense new breakup cd and before I drown my sorrows by marinating alone in my jacuzzi later. I cant tell if this is a new low or a new high
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
