Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
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