Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
Dude, I just spun my iPhone on my boner without it falling off. I belong in cirque du soleil.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
