Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
Randomize
