So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
Randomize
