Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Just had a threesome. Girlfriend wasn't a part of it. Broke up with her by sending her a picture of it. Hell is going to be awesome
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
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