He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
I fell asleep in my underwear on the deck. What the fuck.
This was the best text I've ever woken up to
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Randomize