Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
I dont think problem is the right word. Problems arent something you enjoy. Life would be too boring without gambling.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
In a min. With a stripper at the hospital. Business. Not pleasure.
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
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