RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Drinking loves me for WHO I am
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
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