Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
I'm 2 beers deep on an empty stomach, and I just wanna say, I pride myself on my use of commas
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
Randomize
