She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
Oh my god, it's like someone broke the off button in my butthole
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Dude I love you. So much. Thank u. I'm safea. In allysi lns car. Mine towed. If u loved me ud leand me 500 in the morning. Sleep on it nd let me know.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
Randomize
