What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I'm sure you can think of a way to make money.. God didn't give you boobs that awesome to waste them feeding your children..
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
God, I missed his penis.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Randomize
