I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
Like do I send him a nude to ease his mind off his brother having a stroke? I'm not very good with words when it comes to consoling... I would be a terrible mother.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
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