I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
We hit a golf ball off Brady's ass. His dignity flew away into the night.
Just letting everyone know that I am still alive after last night. On a related note, this is the 15th "I'm not dead!" mass text I've sent. You've got to celebrate the little things.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Randomize
