I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
It's just like the Real World with babies
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
