Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
My sugar daddy is a bigger asshole than i am. What's wrong here?
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
what the fuck happened to the tacos
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
