adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I'm making a conscious effort to limit my spending at the bars...i wrote "FOR CAB ONLY" on a $20 last night
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Just tried to chase Captain Morgan with water...this whole drinking alone business is getting harder to do.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
