He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
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