I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
PLEASE DON'T BE HEARTLESS COME AND GET ME FROM THE BAR I'M HIGH AS SHIT AND I LOST MY SHOES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize