I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
i feel as if its time to shave my pubes but i should wait until before the party. nobody likes a sloppy drunk girl with a stubble-crotch.
story of my life.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
All i remember is looking at the bottle vodka that I was drinking and wondering how it was suddenly empty.
That may have had to do with you chugging it
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
