Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
thankjk goddddn taco bell uis open htis lateee!
you do know it's eleven in the afternoon, right?
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
Bang-toberfest begins!!
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize
