so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
Sometimes I feel like I should become a beautician purely for my ability to shave pretty shapes into my pubic hair.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize
