:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
i just lost my virginity over my 3 hour lunch break..
u hav a 3 hour lunch break?!
i like how the length of my lunch break is the thing that phases u
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
But wait then while giving his drive thru order he goes in mid sentence, "Hey baby it's Travis remember me?"
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
Holy shit, did you actually CHOOSE to get hit by the alcohol truck last night?
If you need me I'll be getting drunk in a chewbacca onsie like a real adult.
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
