belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
