U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it would be cheaper just to buy a dildo to intimidate people with.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
You took a bite of the snack wrap put it down and fell asleep and when you woke up ten minutes later you asked how it got there, dipped it in soda ate it and fell back asleep.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Randomize
