i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
u know ur drinking tonight lol i dont know why you try to deny it
but i dont wanna get emotional and drunk text
then give me ur phone
NEVER!!
I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Note to self: Not getting laid all weekend makes girls in mondays classes racks seem enormously bigger.
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
Standing here wondering if its a good idea to cook pork chops in the toaster or not.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Randomize
