I swear I am going to pee, wipe my vag with my hand, and then slap you in the face with it.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
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