Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize