Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
She used my dick as a microphone to sing "any way you want it" I'm in love.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
Bottom line; if I'm coming out of my bat cave to do the dishes and get a chicken wing and I have no pants or makeup on and my messy bun looks more like Santa got leprosy and crashed his sled into the back of my head then let me be. That's all I'm saying.
where are my pants?
in the oven.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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