we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Randomize
