lets start a swedish sibling band together
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I found and fixed my beer gun.
If TJ is short for Trader Joe, I'm gonna fuck him
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize