Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
i just got offered coke by a strung out pilot. my night just got a lot more interesting.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
I think your dad took our porno
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊