Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
21 People Confess What It’s Really Like At An Orgy
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
These 15 Honest Illustrations Show What Women Do When No One Is Watching
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
Wanna show up on a guy's doorstep and punch him in the balls for me? At least this one isn't a cop.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.