On my way home i need to take a massive dump and couldn't wait.
he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
please dont pick me up from the airport dressed like a terrorist.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money