all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
Nothing like buying a handle and a 36 pack with a baby strapped on.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
Just had that moment when you realize the two drunk women shoving all their money down your clothes were your middle school teachers...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said it. He actually said "yes it's in".
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
christmas shopping: 3 hours in the liquor store...
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