Tell your sister I'm no fool. Or at least romanticize the notion of the fool.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
Best news ive heard all week. The cougars r coming! The cougars are coming!
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
I was the one passing out cake at the bars
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Bring a bathing suit for the glitter slip n slide
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
i have pictures frm only 4 hours ago that will fucking ruin you so i suggest yuo come get me.
Where are you?
dunno. ask mike. bring pain killers. and underwear. and my dignity.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
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