Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
I remember having the weirdest thoughts and thinking our room was a compass and we were in the compass or something.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
we are not getting arrested this weekend. I don't care who I have to blow its just not happening.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
