Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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