Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
You know where a good place to spend summer is? In your head. High as shit. It doesn't matter where you are.
I'm holding onto the sink for dear life. Pretty sure if Iet go I'll turn into a shit propelled man rocket.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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