their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Hello my rib-scented angel!
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Randomize
