i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
I am still sore from last night. I can't wait for you to meet my parents.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
I feel like there should be a 'roommate information section' of the paperwork when there's a chance you'll be given pain killers.
I'll say this one last time. You are TWENTY FIVE YEARS OLD. You are not going to die alone and this is not the twilight of your life. Stop taking shrooms on your period!!!!
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
