I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I AM EATING BACON AND CHEESE. FUCK THE BULLSHIT.
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
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