yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
god it feels good to gold a bottle of opiates again.
I think that typo was actually more appropriate than what you intended.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
