On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
I don't care how sexy you think I look in my scrubs. Wanting a blow job is not a medical emergency.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
Feels like I ran a marathon last night. A tequila marathon.
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
Randomize
