You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
come over, blizzard of oz party. dress up.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
It's not even 8 pm, or Saint Patrick's Day, and Kevin is drunk on my roof humping the air
chicken nuggets make me a bit homicidal
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
