My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
My mom opened up my bank statement today....my first alcohol intervention class is at 7:30am tomorrow.
I'll have party bus drop you off in the morning.
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
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