ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
If I don't have carpet burn in the morning you aren't trying hard enough.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
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