Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
is it customary for a bride to wear white even if she's a whore? i feel tie-dye would have been more accurate
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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