Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Okay who let me pass out in a recliner cuddling a pitbull and a cardboard cutout of Orlando Bloom
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
WTF ARE YOU DOING IT'S FUCKING VEGAN COFFEE IT'S MADE WITH NUT MILK YOU'RE NOT A FUCKING SQUIRREL.
The bouncers found you passed out on the toilet. They tried to move you but you refused and repeatedly shouted that you wanted to go out like Elvis.
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