If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
At least I got steroids and a baguette out of the deal
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
Randomize
