Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
is this the sara with the beer cane?
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
But he made me breakfast and understands the fuck sleep fuck sleep necessities
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
If a hot cougar texts u and says "back massage, blow job".... you show the fuck up.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
There is a dude riding on one of those standing wheel things inside forever 21. Calm down.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
