My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I feel that it is my duty to the human race to invent a colon squeegy
You realize your sleeping pills are working when you pick up your iPhone and almost bite it because you thought it was a graham cracker
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My vagina has a heartbeat. That means I'm in love, right?
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
