My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
Nah I've been there. The worst you'll see is some hobo peeing in a sewer at 3 am on a Saturday
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
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