He yelled GOOOOAAAALLL when he came.
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I just realized that the first thing he ever bought me was Plan B.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
I was dreaming of a parallel reality and in the dream I just looked up at my present self and was like "you're high, man"
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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