May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
You left the resturant and came back with a McDonalds burger in your pocket so ya...no more pregaming birthday dinners. Especially since it wasn't your birthday.
I'm glad that even though we are states apart our whorish hearts beat as one
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
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