dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
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