Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Woke up in a closet. I'm not drinking till summer.
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
