Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
Do you know how I hurt my ankle or my shoulder? Or the origin of any of the following mystery bruises: left quad, left wrist, right elbow. Thanks for playing.
I was making out with him, and then his friend randomly took off my pants and started going down on me. My first semi-threesome was a success.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
Dying on my bathroom floor at 7 am, I would rather be eaten by a shark right now
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
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