i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said your dick dragged you up the stairs
I'm about to initiate a game of drunk UNO.
Drunk UNO has officially been banned from now until forever.
I was taking a bath while he walked in, sat down on the toilet, and said "its like a baby, I can see it crowning."
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
after what u told me last night I think we're past the wtf zone and at this point u should just join me in wondering if my barista lover is a gay porn star
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
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