his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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