just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
I just duct taped myself into my costume. I apologize in advance if you find me in a compromised position involving duct tape and underwear when you get home tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You need a sexual gate keeper
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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