I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
I just gave my patient permission to swallow while pregnant. She was so embarrassed to ask...but her bf was really happy with the answer.
Your sister reminds me of me at her age. Stop her while you can.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I feel like you're the sexual bearcat I've always wanted to be.
Randomize