But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
Found your dick twin last night
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
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